what to do when nothing goes your way.

five reminders of what is in your control.

ever have those moments where things just aren't looking up. that no matter what you do nothing is going your way. nothing feels fulfilling. no amount of effort is yielding any positive gain. as if you are stuck. maybe even going downhill but even in the fall you can't hold onto any of the things you've been practicing to stay up. some have days like this. some have months like this. some have years like this. some have seasons like this. you're not alone. so if you're ever in this space here are five reminders in your control. i hope they are helpful.

don't give up. easier said than done. easier to offer and harder to practice. but what does not giving up look like really. it might look like finding a new strategy. it might look like asking for help. it might look like re-defining success. it might look like slowing down. it might look like stepping away for a moment. it might look like

practice gratitude. not just once a day or twice a day or in the morning or in the evening. but throughout every transition. from one room into the next. from one meeting into the next. from one call clicking over to the next. even if it is a millisecond of you bringing to your awareness that you get to do something. something that got you from the last to your next. it may not get your mind off of the situation that is perplexing you but it will ease your body a bit from the stress your holding. gratitude for the lessons. gratitude for the reminders. gratitude for the challenge. gratitude for the breakthrough. gratitude for the losses. gratitude puts into perspective the magnitude and the brevity of things. when something was going the way you wanted it to go there is gratitude in that. when something is going the way you don't want it to go there is gratitude in thinking about why.

don't compare your journey. the chapter of your life that you are in is never going to be the same as anyone else's. even if you are side-by-side doing the same program or in the same industry or interested in the same things your experience will be yours. and their experience will be theirs. you may notice that they are further along or getting more traction or that it is coming to them easier which may deter you or intimidate you or frustrate you. you will catch when you need to catch. their catching just so happens to be now or before you but that doesn't mean they are fulfilled. that doesn't mean they have it all. you don't know what pressures and stressors they are dealing with. focus on your chapter and don't compare your journey.

vent. then let it go. check-in with yourself. don't just keep things internal and stew it will just pour into other aspects of your life and impact others in your life so take some time to pinpoint how you feel. journal it. say it. think it. yell it. then release it. let it go. remove it out of you so you can focus your energy on creating a plan and doing something that is in your control.

celebrate what is going your way. sometimes it isn't about you. nothing you did or do will change that. so try pinpointing what are small victories that are in your favor. a highlight. a step forward. a glimpse out of the tunnel even if it still looks too far until the exit. an appreciation someone said to you. your effort can never be taken away from you so even if you celebrate the try that is better than celebrating nothing. there is always something to toast to. it boosts you. reminds you. that the details are as important if not more.