Feb 10, 20212 min read

five apologies you truly deserve.

and tips to consider breathing on your own.

why are we hardest on ourselves and how can we get out of that habit. that cycle of thinking we aren't good enough until a seal of approval comes from the very people whose opinion matters the least. the ones who hold too much unearned power and relinquish it sparingly knowing that if it were released more freely they wouldn't have the grasp they so grasp onto so tightly. this is a tight rope that on both ends must be loosened. must be approached differently. those that hold and those that withhold are equally unhealthy. both require attachment to someone else for unequal treatment. my suggestion. my tonic. my invitation. to unlatch and give yourself permission to fill in what they will always fall short from giving in return.

here are five apologies you truly deserve.

when you long to see long to feel long to hear something specifically from a certain person and it doesn't come it doesn't land it doesn't sound the way you need it to sound it steals joy from you it steals time from you it steals your energy.

raw beauty has nothing to apologize for. nothing to explain for. nothing to convince someone how deserving you are for the basic of basic things. the basic of basic things.

you don't have to apologize for that heart of yours. for that care of yours. for that want or why or how or crown of yours. you can't keep apologizing for taking space creating space that is already yours. your breath. your love. your light. apologize no more.

four tips to breathe on your own.

don't strive for unrequited attention. there is someone who causes you so much stress and unnecessary pressure for you to succeed or work hard or prove yourself and everyone else can validate you for all the great things you are doing but it means nothing until that specific person says the magic words and dons their approval.

be gentle with yourself. when you know you have a tendency to seek their validation their congratulations their affirmation and you begin to feel diminished or down or second guess yourself when you aren't feeling it or think you are worthy in their eyes don't be so quick to critical yourself. don't create more tension and stress in your space.

cultivate your own joy. within a project or task or assignment or opportunity or relationship find a way to embed what fills you what drives you what gives you personal satisfaction. get in the habit of making an experience relevant to you. that speaks back to you because you provide your own language your own definition your own flavor for you to be proud of.

give yourself love for being love. no one is you and no one will ever be you. some closest to you may really see you see you but nothing is greater than seeing seeing yourself. filling yourself. celebrating yourself. it is fantastic to be loved by someone else and it is also fantastic to give yourself love for being love. for being you. do this more.

if you liked this piece you'll love my books. i also post daily notes for you.